


Severus Snape; Professor, Headmaster (1997-1998)

by paperthinn



Series: seeley's favorites [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Conversations, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Past Child Abuse, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22843249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperthinn/pseuds/paperthinn
Summary: Harry has been forced into fighting a man's fight since he was eleven, and after the war ends, he finds himself having to deal with the baggage that comes with being the boy who lived.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape
Series: seeley's favorites [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715506
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	Severus Snape; Professor, Headmaster (1997-1998)

**Author's Note:**

> ah, another spur of the moment totally in the feels harry potter fic... this time featuring a caring severus snape portrait and an emotionally distraught harry potter. its almost 3 AM, and i was determined to finish this one !!
> 
> still have to write another chapter to the harry/draco fic.
> 
> mind the tags and the notes at the bottom, please!

Number 12 Grimmauld Place was quiet now that the Order had moved out. Harry decided he didn't want to face Hogwarts after defeating the Dark Lord, tired of fighting. It seemed to be all he knew - even his first year, Harry aged 11, hadn't been kind to him. The end of the war brought death and death brought sorrow. Sorrow brought pain and sadness, which Harry had yet to face. 

He'd had to be strong for a long time. Albus had expected him to be another casualty of Voldemort. Harry's glad to be alive, but the Weasleys were suffering the loss of Fred and he couldn't stand to be around them while they went through that. Everyone had expectations of what Harry would do after it was all over, if he survived. They all thought he would marry Ginny, have a few kids and become a famous Auror. If Harry's being honest, he doesn't know if that sounds appealing anymore. Kreacher had unfortunately died after the war ended, having served the Blacks for countless generations. It left Harry feeling completely alone.

He trudges through the house, and decides to finally face Sirius' old room. He'd only been in there for a few moments before he fled, unable to bear the grief that tore through him as he looked at his Godfather's old stuff. As he sat on the bed, the house filled with silence, Harry found himself crying. He hadn't much time to do so before now, so caught up in stress to grieve properly. Harry doesn't think he ever healed after Cedric's death, or after his first year. He'd been shoved into life threatening situations from the start.

Dumbledore placed him with the Dursleys – they'd abused him for years, starved him, beaten him, locked him away. Minerva tried to suggest counseling, but Harry rejected the offer. She'd tried to get him out, too, but Albus was too insistent. Harry wept for what must've been hours, pondering on just how cruel Dumbledore had been. The room grew dark, the house still dead silent, night falling as Harry struggled to pull himself together.

"I must admit Potter, it is strange to see you in such a state." Harry jumped up off his back where he'd laid on Sirius' bed, looking around the room bewildered. He laid his eyes on the frame tucked in the empty space behind the door. It was _Snape._ Harry didn't know he had a frame here. He supposed someone placed it there before he had officially moved into the house. How long had the Professor been there? Harry doesn't have the energy to glare.

"I didn't know you had a portrait here, Severus," Snape scowls at the use of his name, "Are you here to make fun of me? Mock me for crying?" Harry wiped under his glasses, swiping away as many tears as he could, pushing a hand through his hair as soon as he was satisfied with the still-damp feeling of his skin.

"I'm sure you'll find I'm not _cruel,_ Potter. You've just killed _the_ dark lord, I assure you the last thing I would do is mock you for taking the time to grieve," Harry sniffles, lays back down and spreads his limbs out on the slightly dusty duvet, "I am here because you have not even spared a single glance at this room, and now's my chance to thank you for insisting on having my portrait hung." Harry loses his words. Snape is _thanking him_ , and he doesn't have the energy to respond in a witty way, doesn't have the energy to do much but cry and sleep. 

"You were headmaster," Harry mumbles, pushing his glasses up his nose, "It was only right. How's Minerva?" Harry tries to change the subject, swallowing down the tears that well up in his eyes again. _Bloody hell,_ he curses, staring at the ceiling.

"She's as fine as she could be considering," Harry hears Snape shift in his portrait, "She told me you paid for my burial. There are apparently a lot of things you've done that nobody seems to credit you for. Which does, as you could assume, come as a shock to me." Harry nods, a heavy exhale pushing its way from his lungs. Classic Snape, thinking he gets too much recognition.

"Careful," Harry's voice sounds flat, less accusing than he'd hoped for, so much so that he sounds _numb,_ "You might make me think you _did_ come here to taunt me." Harry laughs, but it's a dead sound, flat and emotionless.

"As I told you, I came here to offer you my thanks. No mocking. Cry all you want." Severus goes quiet, idle in his frame but he's still there, unmoving. It's a long silence, surprisingly comfortable, and Harry can't stop the tears from overflowing. He deserved this. He deserved the chance to break down, he deserves the chance to scream until he tore his lungs apart.

Harry doesn't scream, but a broken whisper of _why me_ slips out before he can stop it. Snape doesn't respond for a little while and his voice is quiet when he speaks again, "I am not so sure as to why it had to be you. I wish I could tell you these things happen to everybody, but that is simply not the case. You've seen things, Harry. Things that we can only hope no other witch or wizard has to see.

"There is no proper explanation I could give you that would explain why Albus left you with abusive muggles, or why you were chosen to face the Dark Lord himself. That is the truth. However, the best you can do is grieve and heal and move on. It is what we all do when we have lost. Whether it be something or someone." 

Harry stares at the blank ceiling for a long while, blinking away tears that cloud his vision. They fall down and off his cheek, wetting the duvet. Harry wishes Severus didn't die in the war. Maybe they could've made up in person, talked it through. Maybe Harry wouldn't feel as alone with someone to stop by. Hermionie and Ron visited sometimes, but not for long, as they were busy with Hogwarts business. Severus was dead now, and the portrait wasn't him, but it was trained to act like him and that means something.

"Thank you," Harry finally finds it in him to speak, turning his head to face the portrait, eyes tracing over the plate at the bottom.

_Severus Snape_

_Professor, Headmaster_

_1997 - 1998_

Looking at the year _1998_ engraved makes tears sting Harry's eyes. Leaving Snape behind had been hard, and it would have been even if he'd been a foe. Maybe Severus had reached some peace for once, had allowed himself to rest. Harry remembers how tired he looked, doesn't have to dwell as he looks at the painting of Snape. He wonders if the man always looked tired, or if that was an aftermath of the years of bullying and such he fought through as a student at Hogwarts. 

Snape nods, lips curling in a smile. It seems genuine. Harry never thought he'd see Snape smile. He glances around Sirius' old room, less upset then he'd been before he'd laid down. 

Harry ends up falling asleep in the dark room his Godfather once resided in. If portrait Severus watches over Harry in his sleep, he doesn't say so when Harry seeks him out later.

When Harry wakes up, glasses askew and sun shining into his eyes, he glances over at the portrait.

Severus Snape is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> :D
> 
> twitter;  
> > hotchnersmind  
> > boomerrjoseph
> 
> instagram;  
> > lonelydxnce
> 
> please stay sate! i love you :)


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